In Bloom: Experiencing joy in moments big and small
Finding happiness and fun in ourselves and others
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A warm welcome to the Bloom community! This is Aiman and Flora, writing to you from Islamabad, Pakistan and London, UK. As the leaves turn to yellow and orange, and the weather gets chilly, we’ve been wrapping ourselves in cosy clothes and drinking warm liquids.
You are receiving this email because you subscribed to the Bloom newsletter. In this newsletter, we’ll be grounding ourselves with a gentle exercise, rooting ourselves into the Chayn community, and branching out into the importance of friendships.
You will have also received a special edition of our newsletter at the end of October, on our strategy consultations. Consider it an extra bit of Bloom!
Ground: Settling into our bodies and the present
While working at Bloom, we often find ourselves doing grounding exercises at the start of our meetings. These provide us with a chance to relax and bond through a little fun, as we take joy in doing them together. It’s even a chance to laugh at ourselves, as we watch our video versions wiggle about, stretch, or massage our temples. At the same time, it always helps to create that movement in our bodies and minds.
Here’s a grounding exercise that we recently did as a team and really enjoyed. If you have limited mobility in your hands, arms, or legs, moving however feels comfortable, or using this as a visualisation exercise of imagining you’re moving like a dog, also works.
If you can, stand up. If not, sit up straight in your chair.
Now, shake your feet and legs. Then your hands, and finally, your arms. Shake it off like you are a dog coming out of a lake. Feel the tension moving out of your limbs and floating away. Keep shaking until it feels fun. You can even make it into a dance, if you like.
Feel free to add your head to the movement, a little head-banging perhaps?
Then, start slowing down and finally, come to a stop.
What we really like about this grounding exercise is how it forces us to move our bodies, which might have been stationary for a good while if we’re not being mindful. It also reminds us that any movement — even if it simply involves stretching our minds to imagine that we’re a dog — can provide us with a break, and it actually doesn’t take very long to do so. It’s always good to have a reminder that we’re present, and we’re alive!
Root: Connecting with the Chayn community
Bloom course updates
Last week, we launched our final course for the year, Reclaiming Resilience in Your Trauma Story. In this course, we’ll be learning about different types of trauma, including grief, gender-based violence, intergenerational trauma, and oppression, and how our body responds to these traumatic events. We’ll learn the ways in which we have already been resilient and discover even more practical tools for healing our body and mind after trauma. To sign up, go to bloom.chayn.co.
Last month, we wrapped up our 7-week course on ‘Recovering from Toxic and Abusive Relationships’. We looked at abusive behaviour as a full spectrum, beyond the stereotype of just physical abuse, and addressed emotional manipulation, the cycle of coercive control, and abusive tactics like gaslighting. We discovered how trauma bonding, narcissism, and early attachment difficulties can impact our relationships with our abusers — and the tools we have within ourselves to live freely and safely after abuse. We were delighted, inspired, and moved by all the incredible insights we got from our course participants. As one of our lovely participants said, ‘It was good to gain some language for the way I’m feeling and to know it’s normal’.
Chayn updates
Creative Hope: This is a project to support survivors on a journey of healing from trauma through creative practice, funded by Lankelly Chase. Award-winning photographer Sophie Green and poet Amani Saeed, are facilitating in-person (paid) workshops in London with survivors of gender-based violence. Sign up for the workshops and read more about the project in Flora’s blog here.
Reproductive Rights Guide: Our Reproductive Rights Guide, designed for Your Story Matters (YSM), covers information on abortion and reproductive rights, and as always is for survivors of sexual violence. It’s ready for launch in November, so stay on the lookout on our social media accounts.
New website: We launched our new website in October! With this new website, we’ve made our resources easier to navigate across languages and mediums. We've categorised our 120+ resources in 12 languages, as well as included some by other organisations. Go and check it out (if you haven’t already), and leave us feedback! We’re also working on a new organisational website, and it’ll be launching in the next few months.
Strategy: As you may have read in our last newsletter, our team has spent the last couple of months working on the first draft of our organisational strategy! We’re now hosting consultation workshops to get input and ideas from other organisations to test, validate, and improve our work so far. Read more about how we’re co-creating the strategy with our community here.
Orbits: We’ve been working on the first draft of Orbits, our field guide on intersectional, survivor-centred and trauma-informed interventions to tackle tech abuse. Soon, we’ll share the draft with our partner and peer organisations for feedback and comments, before launching the guide in early 2022. In the meantime, you can follow the Orbits journey here.
Remember you can stay updated with Chayn on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Contact us via these accounts or by email (team@chayn.co).
Branch: Exploring together
These days, I (Aiman) have been thinking a lot about what brings me joy. A lot of this rumination is tied to my return home to Pakistan. For two years, I was studying in the USA for my Masters, and I created a great support system for myself. Oddly, I was able to find joy in the pandemic, with friends who felt like family. On coming back home, I’ve constantly felt confronted by loss: of space, time, and relationships.
Though it’s hardly surprising, I’ve been coping with a return to my female friendships. For me, Sara is someone who exemplifies what that means. She brings me support and empathy daily, weaving it through our relationship so swiftly that I never feel like I’m asking to be seen or heard. Whether it’s picking up the phone call to discuss a work thing, processing a difficult conversation together, or just brainstorming while we write, we are confidants.
A lot of our understanding of each other is also intuitive; it comes from being Pakistani and being young women. In our 7th year of friendship now, we’ve gone through many formative experiences together. Even when we’ve been physically apart, we’ve been there on voice notes, chats, and video calls. Our parallel life experiences have helped strengthen our friendship. We became friends quite late in our university days, but even then, we’d spend hours in the hostel common room, talking until the sun came up. Later, we lived in entirely different cities. And yet, somehow, we always recognize our need for each other, so we remain tethered. We talk and talk and talk about everything under the sun. As feminists, we find that a lot of our thoughts are similar, but we also try to challenge ourselves. Our communication is the basis of our relationship.
Of course, our friendship also has a lot to do with Sara’s personality. She’s kind and gentle and understanding. She shows up. She helps in ways that genuinely matter. She carries me through difficult days. She listens, actively and empathetically. And I know that she is this person for many of her friends. So, I try to be there for her.
These days, I’m lucky enough that Sara is living in my city, Islamabad. Every weekend, we haul ourselves to each other’s homes and spend the day unravelling. It feels like a gift from the universe; something to make up for the sense of loss I’m struggling with. We order food, make cups and cups of chai, and talk. Just knowing that I’ll be able to see her and spend hours together that aren’t dependent on an internet connection brings me such joy.
It’s also a bit painful to be so in love. Underneath our joy is an anxiety about the next time life might throw us apart. But for now, we revel in each other’s presence. And it helps to be alive, and yet to feel a little less alone and a little more understood each day.
What relationships bring you joy? It could be friends, family, pets, a partner, or simply your relationship with yourself. Today, hold them a little closer and tell them how grateful you are for the sheer joy of their company.
For the last few months, more than any other, my friendship with Sara has been my biggest source of joy. In that joy, she has taught me the value of reprieve; that there is freedom in being with each other, to comfort, to grieve, but also just to be.
If you need support, you can always message us on social media, or email us (team@chayn.co). We are here for you.
We hope you stay kind to yourselves, and take joy in the approaching winter (or summer!), over the next few weeks. We’ll see you next month.
Warmly,
Aiman & Flora